A marriage may have to deal with a number of problems over the years. One of those problems is the possibility of a spouse getting sick or injured. This can place an enormous strain on a marriage depending on the severity of the medical problems. Though even small illnesses can disrupt daily living it is the long term medical issues that can place a huge burden on a spouse and thus stress marital relations.
When a spouse gets sick with a serious long term illness, your whole life can change. Usually a marriage develops into a relationship where each spouse has certain responsibilities and roles. When one gets sick and is unable to handle those responsibilities from that point forward, the extra burden falls on the spouse who is not sick. The emotional and physical drain can be very difficult to handle. On top of that it is distressing to say the least to watch someone you love struggle with illness.
The impact on the marriage can be devastating unless the couple maintains the right attitude. Like all problems in a marriage, this is one that needs a plan of action to insure the marriage remains strong. Though most spouses would not abandon a sick husband or wife, the couple can become distant over time as the illness interferes with daily living. In addition, when you are the spouse who must now be the rock solid partner and pick up many of the responsibilities your spouse used to handle, it can be physically and emotionally tiring.
Healthy Attitudes
Anyone can get sick at any time. Anyone can get injured at any time too. It could have been you and not your spouse who experienced the long term illness. It's important to keep this perspective in mind, because medical problems are usually luck of the draw. It would be great if you had already developed a financial contingency plan before either of you got sick, but most people put off thinking about things like long term illness. If you were caught unprepared and must adjust your household income then the first step is to review your income and expenses at the new level of lost income.
Being a caretaker for someone who is sick is not easy no matter how much you love them. But when you got married there was a reason why you vowed to care for each other in sickness and in health. As humans we are always physically vulnerable. Our spouse is the first person we look to for support and love and caring. If you are the caretaker it will require that you be emotionally strong, patient and understanding.
In other words you both need to keep healthy attitudes about your marriage, your relationship and the role the illness will play in both. When your spouse is sick for a long period of time there will have to be adjustments in your marriage, but keeping the right attitude can make those adjustments easier to handle.
• Continue to spend quality time together at home
• Share your true feelings
• Encourage your spouse to share their feelings about the sickness and the marriage
• Keep your sick spouse as involved as possible in household activities handled before the illness
• Show a lot of love and caring every day
Caring for a sick spouse is never easy. If you are able to get help from your family then it is suggested you do so when talking about a long term illness. For one thing you need a periodic break from the emotional turmoil a sickness can cause.
Don't Forget About Your Needs
One common mistake people make when becoming a caretaker on a long term basis is always putting their needs last. Though it may sound selfish on the surface, sometimes you need to consider your feelings first. By this is meant that it’s important to identify how you are feeling about the marriage and the sickness and your increased responsibility. You have to take time for yourself so you stay physically and mentally healthy.
All too often a spouse will exhaust themselves to the point where they are unable to function well. This is not good for either you or the person you are caring for on a long term basis. So you should make sure you get out of the house sometimes like going out to dinner with friends or family. If you communicate your needs to your spouse, together you can learn to deal with almost any medical problem. As is always the case the strongest marriages are the ones where two people communicate regularly and honestly.