Even though female masturbation is common, normal, and healthy, many women feel uncomfortable.  Sex researchers Edward O. Laumann et al. find that about half of women and men who masturbate feel guilty.  They state, "Masturbation has the peculiar status of being both highly stigmatized and fairly commonplace."

Women explore their bodies less than men because they are not encouraged to be as sexual.  Masturbation can help you love your body, feel happier and more fulfilled.  Read on for three tips on overcoming guilt and shame about female masturbation, so you can have the sex you want and deserve.

(1) Learn the facts about masturbation.

Female masturbation is as healthy for you as eating your fruits and veggies  According to Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller, females who masturbate are more likely to have orgasms, and orgasm more easily from masturbation than any other sex act.  Women who have orgasms while masturbating tend to orgasm with their partners more often.

It lowers stress, promotes relaxation, and even helps menstrual cramps.  Using the pubecoccal (PC) muscles, the ones that quiver and contract in orgasm, leads to more sexual pleasure, reduces the risk of incontinence, and aids in childbirth.  Female masturbation is the easiet method of safe sex - you won't get knocked up or catch an STD!

(2) Identify your beliefs about sex in general, and masturbation in particular.  Humans are naturally social - we learn from each other and can pick up one another's values without realizing..

Religion, media, and family obviously give us messages about how to be.  You may have learned that only sluts, whores, and nymphomaniacs practice female masturbation, or that masturbation is generally sinful or addictive.

Experiences like physical, mental, or emotional trauma also shape our sexual beliefs.  Obviously sexual abuse is extremely traumatic, but being caught masturbating, a bad trip to the gynecologist, or even having your sexual secrets told can reinforce unsupportive beliefs about female masturbation and sex in general.

(3) Banish negative beliefs and instead create positive ones.  Dream up your ideal sex life, and imagine how your body would feel, how you would masturbate, and what you might fantasize about if you felt free to indulge.  Don't just think about it, but relax and FEEL how happy you'd be if this were reality.

Create an affirmation for yourself that reflects one aspect of your ideal sex life.  Yep, its cheesy, but do it anyway.  If you're like me, you talk crap to yourself everyday, so choosing ONE nice thing isn't too unreasonable, right?.  Try these on for size: I love my body, I am free, masturbation is awesome, I am safe, I am sexy, I love myself.

Affirmations work like a self-fulfilling prophecy.  The mind likes to be congruent with your behavior.  The more you say your affirmation and feel it in your body, your mind will begin finding ways to make it real.  You may observe yourself behaving differently, liking masturbation more than usual.

You don't need to believe your affirmation, that will come in time. Its alright if you feel silly.  Start each morning with your affirmation and repeat it throughout the day (whisper if you don't want anyone to hear).  Repeat it before or during masturbation and remind yourself why you're there.

This may seem overwhelming at first, and it won't happen overnight.  It is best to pair healing your mind and body simultaneously.  In time, you will heal shame and guilt over female masturbation to have a better sex life, alone and with a partner.