How To Avoid Becoming The "Wicked" Step Parent

The term "wicked step parent" may be a stereotype placed in our minds by childhood fairy tales but the reality is that there are many children out there who have step parents. Entering a family with children in the absent parents former role can be a touchy subject but it does not have to be a struggle. This article will offer some great tips for those who are entering the role of step parent to help make the transition a smooth one.

Children, especially older ones, do not respond well to someone who is not their parent disciplining them. Before you begin setting rules and partaking in the discipline process it is crucial that you sit down with your partner and discuss the parenting ground rules. After you and your partner have this discussion and come to an agreement you can sit down with the children and explain it all to them so that everyone is clear. This will also give the children a chance to express their feelings and talk about them openly. Be sure to listen to what they have to say even if it hurts, for the transition is also hard for them.

Children like to take time to process new changes that are happening in their environment and might initially meet them with hostility. The children probably have strong feelings about a new adult entering their lives so let them get to know you on their terms. Trying to force a friendship with a child can lead them to push away from you. Show the children kindness even if they act like they hate you and let them know by your actions that you are not there to take over the family or replace the former parent. Expect some resistance in the beginning and just allow time and a little patience and they will eventually warm up to you.

If you have children be sure to introduce them all well before any marriage takes place. This will give the children time to know each other before having to share a home. There may be some tension in the beginning especially with older children but allow them to work out their differences on their own without interfering too much can be beneficial. The blending of two families brings a lot of mixed emotions and discussing them out in the open can really help everyone to get along better in the long run.

Becoming a step parent can be exciting and nerve racking all at the same time. It is not uncommon for the idea to be met with great hesitation when there are children involved. How you approach the situation has a lot to do with how successful or unsuccessful you will be. It can take quite a long time to earn a child's trust and respect but it can be done with a little time and a lot of patience. Utilize the advice from this article to help make the transition a smooth one.