Preparing For Baby: How To Help Your Children Adjust To Their New Family
A new birth is an exciting time, but for established families, it also means a time of upheaval. When an infant comes home, the entire dynamic of the family is thrown off; not only will you have to focus a lot of your attention on your little one, but your older children may have a difficult adjustment period. The baby will now occupy a lot of your time, and your children may act out as a way of getting your attention. Some of this can be alleviated, however, if you take strides to prepare your kids in advance of the baby's birth.
When you initially tell your children that you are pregnant, make sure you use words that they can understand. A toddler will not be able to conceptualize what a due date is, but they may be able to understand if you tell them the baby is coming close to the time that Santa comes, for example. As you explain, allow your child to ask questions and take your cues from them. If they seem satisfied, that's great. If you think they need more information, consider getting a book for children about pregnancy, looking at old baby pictures of your family members, or going to see a family that has a newborn in the house. All of these activities will help your child begin to understand and mentally prepare for what is coming.
Consider signing your child up for a sibling birth class. Most hospitals offer this type of service, and children learn a lot of valuable skills, including how to properly hold an infant. Equally important, they will have the opportunity to talk about their thoughts related to having a new brother or sister; some children simply open up more in a different environment.
When you only have a few months left in your pregnancy, talk to your children about the plan for the birth. Who will be watching them? Will they stay at home or will they stay at someone else's house? When can they come see the baby? When will you be home? Having this knowledge will put their minds at ease leading up to the birth day.
If you need to make any changes to your household, take care of them well in advance of the baby's arrival. For example, if you know your toddler is ready to be potty-trained, complete the process ahead of time (or wait for several months after the baby's birth). Too much change, all at once, simply isn't good for anyone. A new member of the family is enough; try to keep everything else the same if possible, including bedroom arrangements.
Having a baby is a wonderful experience for any family. Still, it may be difficult for your children to adjust, particularly initially. The tips included above can help them get used to the idea, beginning with the day that you first tell them about the new baby. If they continue to have difficulty, don't hesitate to speak with their pediatrician to get additional help.
