Letting go of a relationship isn’t always easy. Even if you were the one breaking the relationship off, that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt. No matter who did the actual breaking up, you need to make sure that you are allowing yourself to heal so you can move on.
Stop All Contact
Probably the worst thing someone can do is to stay in contact with their ex. Trying to “stay friends” is usually a mistake. It can lead you to overlook their flaws, get together with them again, and almost inevitably go through another breakup.
When you are letting go of a relationship, it is best to delete their number from your phone, take them off your friend lists, and just stop talking to them until you're in a better frame of mind. Minimizing your contact with them will speed up the healing process as much as possible.
Try to Let Go of Blame
Honestly, at this point it probably doesn’t matter whose fault it is that the relationship ended. Instead of stewing over this, just let it go. If you don’t, you could waste many precious hours mulling it over. If it was your fault, learn from your mistakes focus on letting go of the relationship. You aren’t improving anything by reminding yourself of your faults over and over. If it was your ex’s fault, then just be glad you’re out of the situation and move on.
Avoid Memories
Many people will tell you that you just need to avoid memories of your ex that will be painful. But this is a somewhat silly idea. If you are upset over a breakup, any reminder of the other person can be painful.
An important part of letting go of a relationship is allowing yourself to get away from the other person, physically and mentally. If there are places that you associate with your past relationship, such as restaurants, movie theatres, bars, or even places like parks or libraries, stay away for awhile. Find other places to spend your time. Make new memories with friends or by yourself.
Pretty soon you will be able to revisit those old places without every thought focusing on your ex.
Let It Out
While you don’t want to dwell on your feelings for your ex, or the pain you are going through due to the breakup, you should let your frustration out somehow. This is very therapeutic, and is important to letting go of a relationship.
Many people cry to let their anger and frustration out. This is normal, healthy, and nothing to be embarrassed about, especially if you cry in the privacy of your own home. Some people also use more active methods of release, such as exercise. Any type of self defense workouts such as karate or kickboxing can help you to release your feelings.
Take Time for Yourself
Focus on yourself for awhile. Take time to do things that you enjoy. Let your hobbies and interests distract you from your breakup. Soon you will begin to feel that life really is live-able without your ex.
Following some of these simple steps can make letting go of a relationship so much easier. With time and patience, you will heal and move on to better things.