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What To Do To Achieve Effective Co Parenting After Divorce

The divorce is final. You are no longer bound to each other. Nevertheless, you still need to work together as parents until your children are old enough to fend for themselves. This can be a tricky situation especially if there is still anger and resentment involved. However, you don’t have a choice but to leave the past behind for the sake of your children and their welfare. Therefore, here are some helpful tips that you can try to achieve effective co-parenting after divorce.

Plan A: When you and your spouse are in good terms

Let us say you and your ex are in good terms. You can get together at times to talk about the children and their schooling. You can even spend certain weekends together so the kids can feel secure at the thought that they will always have a family despite the divorce. You both attend your kids’ recitals or basketball games and are their number one pep squad. That is great. You have finally arranged to have a healthy family atmosphere where the both of you can have peace of mind and your children are happy because their parents are such good friends.

Be flexible

When you are friends with your ex, it is so much easier to design a parenting plan, so might as well sit down, and take time to discuss it thoroughly before implementing it. Remember that the children are the primary consideration, not you, not your spouse. Therefore, when you make schedules, make sure the children are well aware of them and they are agreeable to it. If each of you gets them half the week, will this be all right with the kids? Are they comfortable with that arrangement? At times when you need to travel for work or have out of town trips, which come in long stretches, days, sometimes a week when you need to be away, is your spouse ready to take on the responsibility, and vice versa?

When you are co-parenting after divorce, you need to be prepared for the unexpected. Are you willing to swap, to make exchanges? At important events when your presence is required and you are expected to be there, make sure you be there-on time. Nothing is more devastating for a child waiting and waiting only to find out his parents won’t show up. This can be traumatic for them and may even discourage them from joining future activities.

Plan B: When you and your spouse are not friends

Now this is the tricky part. You and your ex still hate each other’s guts but for the sake of the children try your best to be civil when they are around. What do you do to achieve good co-parenting after divorce? You get a third party involved.

Choose a third party to make life easier for the both of you

This can be either in the form of a parenting consultant or a mediator of some sort. You need her to be able to formulate an effective plan. When you choose one make sure he or she is well versed with divorce laws and the needs of your children. On the other hand, a parenting consultant is somebody who has vast experience in working with divorcing spouses and their children. They are usually mental health professionals. This way he or she is aware of your children’s’ developmental needs and at the same time are aware of the present hurt and sentiments both spouses are going through while the divorce proceedings are on-going and even when the divorce is finalized.

You may have grown apart with your spouse, but you will always have one thing in common- the undying love and devotion you have for your children. So be responsible and come up with a good co-parenting plan after divorce so you and your ex can both have peace of mind.

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