Support For Companions Of Cancer Patients
When a person has cancer, the suffering spreads beyond the person who has the disease. The patient's loved ones, friends, and others who are in his close social circle are also going through emotional challenges. Sometimes, people have a hard time coming to terms with it and are at a loss in how they should behave in the presence of the cancer sufferer. Here are some guidelines in how you can support the cancer patient.
When you see someone you care about battling cancer, you may get overwhelmed with an emotional response thinking that life just is not fair. You may start to hypothesize what triggered the onset of the cancer. Was it the water that he drank from the tap or certain chemicals that he was exposed to? Or maybe it was because he took your suggestion and vacationed in a polluted city. Thoughts can be irrational when you are faced with deep emotions. The fact is, the cancer is not caused by any one environmental reason. There are a multitude of reasons, including heredity. It is not the fault of any one single cause. Try to avoid the feeling of guilt or pinning the cause to any one person or event.
When you are talking with the person who has cancer, sometimes words are hard to come by. If the person is talking about how worried he is, just be there to listen. Encouraging words are helpful, but avoid saying things like "everything will be all right," because things are not going to be. Allow the person to vent his fear. A lot of times, that is really all he needs.
You should be strong for the cancer patient. However, you have every right to feel sad as well. Just try not to let your emotions be too apparent. Avoid breaking down in front of the cancer patient. You are there to support him, not the other way around.
Participating in a support group can be very helpful. You get a chance to meet other families who are going through the same emotional roller coaster as you are. On days when the cancer seems to be in remission, there is great joy and hope. But when the cancer returns in full force, moods turn downhill. Families of cancer patients go through this emotional upheaval constantly. Being in a support group will enable you to vent your emotions. You get a chance to hear about how other families cope, and you might learn other ways to help yourself cope.
Just because someone in your family has cancer, that does not have to be center of conversation all the time. There are other aspects in life that make life fulfilling. If the cancer patient can travel, plan a family vacation. Take every advantage of moments when wishes can be fulfilled. Spend quality time together doing only things that are meaningful.
It is hard not think about what life would be like without your loved one who has cancer. Focus on making every minute count so you will not have any regrets.
