How To Be A Friend To A Kinship Caregiver Refusing To Seek Out Respite Care
Have you ever wondered how to be a friend to a kinship caregiver refusing to seek out respite care even though the daily care of a loved one is clearly taking its toll on her or his overall mind and body? If so, you are probably not alone and even more alarmingly, you might have noticed that the person is displaying symptoms of depression! The goal of course needs to be the recommendation that respite care is employed in the overall care of the loved one, but in so doing sometimes an indirect approach works best.
For example, do not allow your own frustration to come through in your interactions with the kinship caregiver. While it is easy to say to the caregiver to get over her pride, prejudice or fear of leaving the loved one alone, it is counterproductive in that it causes unnecessary tension and conflict. This is especially true if the stress of the care giving has already led to a descent into clinical depression.
Overlook certain behaviors and pick your battles. Sure, you want your friend to recognize that respite care can ease the pressure on her and that this will make some of the arguments and problems unnecessary, but if you choose to nitpick and actually overdo you criticalness, you may find that your friendship suffers to such an extent that you are less likely to be called upon as a friend any longer. A person on the edge of depression under tremendous stress will not think as rationally as you would like them to.
How to be a friend to a kinship caregiver refusing to seek out respite care is also a study in discretion. Do not betray confidences and do not allow yourself to gossip either about your friend or the loved one in her care. Sure, it would be easy to commiserate and vent your frustration, but in so doing you are gossiping and there is little doubt that your little verbal indiscretions are going to come back to haunt you sooner or later. Loyalty to your friend is of the highest order in this context and if you are hoping to persuade her to seek out respite care, she needs to first know she can trust you and rely on you.
Become a buffer between the caregiver and those who would utter platitudes and offer tidbits of unsolicited advice. You are going to be surprised to learn just how many well meaning individuals are out there consistently offering advice and prattling on about the things the caregiver should be doing. Few – if any – have ever walked a mile in her shoes. To this end it is wise to not tell your friend that she ought to go ahead and set up a respite care contact.
Being a friend to a kinship caregiver refusing to seek out respite care means making the first step yourself; learn about the options available to her and then give her all the information you found out. This of course also greatly helps when it comes down to explaining exactly how the relationship with a respite caregiver can actually enhance her relationship with her loved.
