The Power Of Honesty: How To Handle Children And Cancer

Even in the very best-case scenario, a cancer diagnosis is an extremely serious thing. Besides the tremendous fear and strain you have to deal with yourself, your family is also vulnerable to negative feelings about your condition. If you have young children in your household, it can be especially tempting to try to keep the truth from them. Here are some reasons why honesty makes a better policy with your kids.

First of all, you know how smart your children are and how attuned they are to their parents' moods. It's not hard at all for a child to realize that something new and negative has changed the household dynamic, even if they're very young. After all, his or her parents are the most familiar people in a child's world. When they start getting worried all the time, the child will definitely notice. Depending on your child's temperament, you might or might not be able to tell that the new mood in the home is getting to him or her.

The danger of concealing a cancer case from a child is two-fold. With only their feeling of unease and "wrongness" to work with, children can come up with theories of their own about what's wrong. These can be even scarier than the reality of the disease you're facing. There is also the possibility that your child will get word from someone else about what you're going through. This can make children resent their parents for trying to keep them in the dark, and your family's emotional situation is charged enough without dealing with resentment.

It's a far better policy to sit down with your children and explain your medical situation to them. A little careful thought ahead of time is vital, in order to try and prepare yourself for their most likely questions. You should be as patient and informative as possible. Even though your children will be upset about this strange new threat, they will also feel good to be informed about it. It helps to remind them of the family bonds that link you all together.

From a wider perspective, it can be a good thing for a child with a cancer case in his or her home to be fully aware of what's going on. Illness is a part of life, an important one that can even signal the end of life. This is one of those difficult concepts that everyone has to come to grips with sooner or later. Even though the experience is not easy on children, it can be healthy for them to face the serious issues involved with cancer sooner in life rather than later.

Although explaining your condition to your children is not an easy conversation to get through, it is one that you do want to have. Ultimately, there is just one reason to do it: Because all of the alternatives are even harder on your children. A short, unpleasant revelation beats an unexpected trauma later on. You're facing your cancer with a good understanding of what will happen to you; your children deserve to do the same.