I've always been fat but I never really felt fat. In my mind, I was just temporary being held captive by a body that didn't really represent how I felt inside. It's been 34 years of feeling like this and I finally give in, I am just another fat person who lacks the motivation and discipline to lose weight. I've tried so many diets and have started so many health kicks but I always quit. My biggest issue is that I am not consistent in my efforts. I might go a week then I won't exercise again.
I bet this is a problem that most fat people have. We can't reach our fitness goals because we aren't consistent in our efforts. The average fat person has a wealth of information on losing weight but they can never consistently put it into action. I probably know more about fitness than the average personal trainer. If I could ever become discipline, I could lose all this ugly weight that I've been carrying around for more than 30 years. I am so ready to get rid of it. It holds me down and it makes me feels sick.
Being fat has really ruined my life. It has caused me to never have a girlfriend. Yes, I have kissed women and have had sex but I have never had a girlfriend. I've never wanted to date women in my league and I don't want a fat girl. Most of the women I want don't want me so I rather stay alone. There have been a few times when an attractive girl has liked me but I never pursued it because I didn't think I was worthy. It's hard trying to start or be in a relationship when you feel bad about yourself.
I wonder how common is my experience: people avoiding relationships because they feel ashamed of who they are. I don't even have any pictures on facebook because I hate what I look like. The only picture I have is a picture of my face. I have had girls who like my face pics on social media ask for more pics. Imagine how much of a loser I feel like when that happens. It happens much more than I like and it has been an ongoing problem for too many year. I am ready to make a change.
Do you see why I must lose weight and improve my fitness? I haven't even lived a complete life. There are 15 year old's with more dating experience with me. I feel like I've missed out on all the things that people experienced as teenagers and as colleges students. I am stuck with this life and with this body until I can find the discipline to force myself to do the right things. I know that these posts are suppose to be motivated but I don't care this is my horrible life and I know others share the same experience that I have.