You’ve Given Up and Given In to Hopelessness - And Now You're Fat!
When it comes to losing weight, there isn’t a magic fix. When you want to shed unwanted pounds, it’s going to take some work, determination and making changes in your lifestyle. But it can be done.
The problem is that many people give up. They give up because they see some results but then gain the weight back. Or they struggle for a couple of weeks, get on the scale, see minimal weight loss, and they get discouraged and quit.
There are five common thoughts people have that cause them to give up and give in to hopelessness when it comes to weight loss. These thoughts can become mental blocks that can prevent you from changing your life.
This Is Who I Am
You can reach a point in life where you’ve carried extra weight around for so long that you associated with your identity. You might not say it out loud, but you think it to yourself.
Instead of thinking of yourself as Jane Doe, you think of yourself as Jane Doe, heavy girl. Or John Doe, heavy guy. You can start to take on the persona of what you silently tell yourself you are.
What that means is that your thoughts become your acceptance. You think, 'This is who I am' and your thinking will sabotage any weight loss changes that you ever attempt to make unless you change the way that you think.
The reason why this thought trips you up and keeps you trapped in the cycle of feeling hopeless about losing weight is because it’s an unfinished thought. The truth is that when you think that, you’re not really accepting yourself 'as is.'
What you’re doing is raising the mental flag of surrender because you feel hopeless. The phrase isn’t finished. There needs to be a 'because' at the end of it.
So instead of ending your hopeless thought with 'This is who I am' you need to change it to 'This is who I am because.' When you add the word because it becomes the link to the identifier.
This lets you discover the real reason why you’re thinking the way that you are. You can figure out why you feel the way that you do and why you struggle with weight or dieting once you know the reason.
So you might think, 'This is who I am because diets never work for me.' Once you know that, you can take it to the second step and realize that diets never worked for you because and you can uncover why that diet didn’t work.
Then once you know why the diet never worked for you, you’ll be able to identify the problem and find the solution.
Guess I’ll Be Fat Forever
This phrase is covered in hopelessness. It reeks of disappointment. You’re disappointed in the efforts, in the diet, in the exercise, and in all of the hard work that you put into it.
But you’re also disappointed in yourself. When you say that phrase, it sounds like that’s what you mean but what’s silently being said is that you don’t want this. You want to make change and you wish that you knew how to make the changes
There are reasons that people reach this mindset. It usually starts because whatever weight loss effort they’ve made has simply not happened fast enough for their liking.
The progress is moving at a snail’s pace and when they don’t see results, they give up and settle back in hopelessness. The way to combat this line of thinking is to realize that when progress takes longer, that’s a good thing.
Studies have shown that slow, steady weight loss is much better and safer than fast weight loss. When you lose weight slowly, even though it seems to be taking forever, you end up keeping the weight off long term.
The key is being able to accept that it’s going to take time. Once you settle on that from the start, it will be easy to avoid the, 'I’m going to be fat forever' way of thinking.
Something else that can trigger this line of thinking is a diet that’s too restrictive. When you plan a diet that’s very strict, you’re setting yourself up for failure. No one wants to be hungry.
It’s not fun and it’s actually detrimental to weight loss because it can lead you to feelings of helplessness. When it comes to meal planning, if you choose foods that keep you feeling fuller longer, you’ll be able to combat feeling hungry, which in turn will eliminate frustration and feelings of helplessness.
Another reason that you can fall into the trap of giving in to helplessness or giving up happens when you decide that you have to eliminate all the foods you like from your diet.
This always backfires because diets that take all the fun out of eating will push you to give up. The best way to avoid experiencing the 'guess I’ll be fat forever' mindset is to focus on eating the majority of your meals and snacks based on healthy choices.
Choose lean meats and fruits and vegetables as your mainstay. And vary your choices so boredom doesn’t set in. But whatever you do, don’t completely eliminate everything that’s high calorie and considered junk food.
If you do that, you’ll pave the way to give up. The best way to take off the pounds you want to lose is to eat healthy and leave room in your eating plan for your favorite foods.
It’s My Genes
It’s a scientific fact that what your ancestors passed down through your family tree can affect your life today. Depending on the genes in your family, you can end up having certain health issues that can impact your weight.
Some people are predisposed to developing diabetes. Because of autoimmune conditions, their bodies are more insulin resistant. Or, you can have family genes that cause problems with the thyroid or other glands that can impede weight loss and make it more difficult regardless of your efforts.
However, that doesn’t mean that it’s impossible to lose weight. It only means that you have to try a little harder. Sometimes, there can be a genetic reason that can lead to obesity.
But genetic causes of obesity are rarer than they are the norm. The number one cause of obesity is consuming more calories than is expended. If you struggle to lose weight, trying harder will bring you success.
One of the best ways to try harder when it’s in your genes does not depend on the type of eating plan you choose. It also doesn’t depend on your exercise routine.
What it does depend on is your determination. Having the mindset of not quitting until you get the results that you want is the key factor in losing weight when it comes to having family genes that make it more difficult to take off weight.
There’s no doubt that when your genes work against you, that you’re right when you say 'It’s in my genes.' However, if you add, 'so I can’t lose weight' to the end of that, then you’re not being honest with yourself.
Regardless of what you have going on in your family health history, you don’t want to use that as an excuse. When you do that, you’re actually seeking approval and a reason to let yourself down and to feel better for giving up.
Losing weight is hard even without having genes that won’t work with you. But you can do it if you decide that you want to do it. That’s why you see all kinds of weight loss success stories from people who have major struggles.
They struggle with their genes and still manage to lose weight. So even if you do come from a family that has genes that tend to keep the weight on, you can still have your own success story.
Success means that you’re going to strive to be healthy regardless of what shows up on the scale. It means that you don’t surrender to the mindset that you have no choice but to keep on the extra pounds.
I’m Tired of Dieting
There are hundreds of diets. Each of them will tell you exactly what you need to do or to buy to hit that magical number you’ve been searching for. Weeks. Months. Years. Decades.
Dieting keeps you in a time capsule of always searching for the next diet that’s going to help you lose all the weight you want to lose and keep it off forever and ever.
But as most of us have learned, the majority of diets promise much and deliver little. The reason why is because they create an obsession with food. Let’s look at the calories, the carbs, and the labels.
Let’s count, let’s measure, and let’s deprive. If you’ve reached the point where you’ve thought or said, 'I’m tired of dieting,' then you’re in good company. Every single person who has ever been on a diet has reached the point where they’ve had enough.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with saying you’re tired of dieting. What’s wrong though, is when you say or think that and couple it with an, 'I don’t care' attitude and you eat and eat and eat.
Because you’re upset. You’re mad and hurt and grieving that once again, dieting has failed you and you feel like you’ve failed you. The truth is that you haven’t failed until you give up and park yourself firmly in hopelessness.
And by its definition, hopelessness means without hope. Without having hope, you won’t try and the only one who suffers there is you. If you’re tired of dieting, the best piece of advice that you’ll hear is this: then don’t.
Sounds kind of contrary to think when you’re someone who wants to lose weight. But it’s true. If you reach the point where you’re sick and tired of dieting, then give up.
Give Up Dieting, But Don’t Give Up Trying
Success is not found in adhering to a rigid set of eating plans. It’s not found in carefully measuring out foods. Or depriving yourself of anything that doesn’t take like blades of grass.
Success is found when you change your focus. Instead of focusing on weight loss and how much food you need to give up to reach your goals, change your relationship with food.
Food is not your enemy. It’s there to provide your body with everything it needs to run on. It’s there to give your body nutrients, to give you energy, to boost your immune system, to keep you alive. Look at it as something you can have when you need it and something you pass on when you don’t need it.
I’m Happy Being Fat
'I’m happy being fat' is a common thought in people who are overweight. Sometimes when this thought is present, it’s coming from a place of self-acceptance and truth in that person.
But other times, when this thought is present, it’s coming from a place of defeatism. When you reach that point, it means that you’re tired of fighting, that you’re giving up and you view the weight loss as hopeless.
If you have thought you were happier being fat, you need to do an emotional self-exam and ask yourself if you really do feel that way or if you’re just tired of trying. Because being tired of trying isn’t the same thing as being happy about it.
If you’re not truly satisfied with your weight and tell yourself that you’re happy being fat, what you’re doing by telling yourself that you are is a form of mental weight loss sabotage.
When you have thoughts like that, ones that can lead you to giving up and giving in to hopelessness, what you have to do is to start to challenge the thoughts. You have to look at what you’re silently saying to yourself and evaluate it.
What you tell yourself, whether it’s an actual truth or not, will affect your emotions and actions because it’ll feel like you’re giving yourself a truth. Regardless of whether what you’re thinking isn’t true, the mind doesn’t differentiate between the lies we tell ourselves and the truths.
The mind simple processes what you think as being factual. So what you think in turn leads to the emotional let down of giving up. Don’t take your thoughts at face value.
Question them. Challenge them. Dig deeper to see if you’re attaching emotion to what you’re thinking. If because you’re discouraged about the weight loss, you’re saying you’re happier being fat.
You can challenge your thinking about how you feel concerning weight loss by asking yourself some questions. The number one question to ask yourself is, 'Where is the proof?'
When you tell yourself anything negative about weight loss, such as 'I’m happy being fat' then turn around ask yourself for the proof. Too many of accept the way that we think and feel about weight loss because we automatically assume we’re telling ourselves the truth. It’s not that we deliberately lie, but emotions are not always indicative of what’s really going on logically.
