Knowhow-Now Article

5 Lessons From Previous Break Ups

While a lot of guys may not be so quick to admit it, I have been dumped by a lot of women over the years. Perhaps you have, too; maybe not. Either way, I'm a firm believer in learning from the mistakes of other people. With that in mind, I'd like to share some things that I have learned from the women who have dumped me, in the hopes that it will help your relationship go more smoothly.

Lesson #1: Share and share alike. What this means is that each person is likely to blame the other for the break up. But the truth is that you both contributed to the break up in some way. By taking an honest look at what went wrong, and your role in it, you can make a conscious effort to avoid making the same mistakes in the future.

Lesson #2: Women still need their space. As a guy it may seem that women always like to snuggle and cuddle and that they are always around. But they still need some time alone. To make things worse, a lot of guys can be possessive and try to know what their partner is up to at all times. And if you have had a woman that was unfaithful in the past, then this tendency is even stronger. While that may be the case, by doing this you are showing distrust, and no relationship can survive in that kind of atmosphere. So, even though it can be hard, do your best to let your girlfriend do the things she likes to do, and don't feel that you always have to give her the third degree about what she's doing.

Lesson #3: Time heals. The first few days after a break up are the absolute worst. After that, you will start to come to terms with what happened. Sure, there will emotional ups and downs, but it will get easier as time goes on. If it doesn't, then it may be a good idea to see a qualified counselor to help you. You can also use this pain in the future by reminding yourself it's easier to work on the tough problems while you are in the relationship than it is to suffer through a break up.

Lesson #4: Accept the facts. When first starting a relationship, you may feel as though you have found your soulmate. You were even imagining a wonderful future together, and may have even talked about it. But, over time, things start to go downhill. You start to wonder what you ever saw in her, and she probably feels the same way about you. Then you break up. Now you don't just feel bad about splitting up, you also feel bad about missing out on the future you imagined. However, remember that it's better to end things now if it really wasn't meant to be.

Lesson #5: Happiness isn't an accident. To put it another way: Relationships take work. You can't just let stuff happen to you, you have to take responsibility for making it what you want it to be. This may be the most important lesson of all.

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