Despite what so many people think, divorce does not have to be the most unpleasant phase in a persons’ life. Nevertheless, just like any other obstacle that comes your way, you need to be cool, calm and confident to face the world ahead. Therefore, here are some helpful tips on how you can deal with life after divorce.
1. Be comfortable with being by yourself. Just because you are alone does not mean you have to be lonely. Happiness as an individual must not solely depend on being in a relationship with somebody else. If you cannot be happy alone, you cannot expect to be happy together with another person.
2. Know that there is nothing wrong with being single. Despite today’s modern age, women are still looked at negatively by married friends and family. Up to now, so many women feel they are great failures simply because their marriage did not last. Those truly successful women are those who are in solid, lasting relationships. A woman suffers from this biggest misconception of the society. Breaking from an abusive, manipulative and violent marital relationship is not a weakness. On the contrary, liberating yourself from neglect and being independent needs sheer will and determination. Be proud to be a survivor. You need this to deal with life after divorce.
3. Don’t be bitter; be better. Don’t waste your time trying to get back on an unfaithful husband or wife because that will not make you a better person. You will just end up hurting yourself, ruining your life and your career by spending so much time on something that is not worth your while. Don’t try to get him back by pulling on a desperate act or stooping so low. This is not an assurance that he will come back and this will make it more difficult for you to move on. Divert your energy on more productive things. Keep yourself busy; bury yourself in work if you have to. Hit the gym. Find an outlet to expend all that energy. However, never be self-destructive. Don’t drink and drive. Don’t do drugs. Stupidity will only contribute to your misery.
4. Learn to accept reality. It is over and done. It is just but normal for the heartache to live on. Nevertheless, this too shall pass, as everything does. It will not hurt forever. Given enough time and space, you will be able to heal yourself. Keep your distance because you have to. Talk to him only when it is extremely necessary, like discussing your children’s schooling or arranging schedule for Christmas or summer vacations. Otherwise, just let him be.
5. Stop rekindling the past. Of course, there are so many great memories of you and your family but there is no point getting stuck in there. Remember them fondly, and then move on. If you don’t, you will not be able to accomplish anything with your life because these memories will paralyze you. Do not waste your time on regret because it will not change anything. Focus on the future. Life is short so make the most out of it.
6. Get rid of your guilt complex. Stop blaming yourself for everything that’s happened. It takes two to tango and the marriage would not have ended unless the both of you wanted it to. Apologize to each other. Forgive each other, and then move on.
7. Re-invent yourself. This is the best time to be the person you have always wanted to become. Explore new talents, new possibilities. Maybe you have always wanted to take up writing or photography or try scuba diving. You can do all these things now. How about setting up that small business you’ve always wanted? Have you thought about pursuing your lifelong dreams of becoming a chef or restaurateur?
Try these seven effective strategies to deal with life after divorce. This is the time to create a whole new you.