After Adultery Saving A Relationship Is Hard Work
Putting a relationship back together after adultery may not be impossible, but it will be very, very difficult. In order for the two of you to fix your broken relationship, you will both need to be willing to do whatever is needed and commit to the relationship fully. There can be no half hearted attempts or it simply won't work.
Many couples will make their first step to seek the help of a therapist which may be a great idea. The truth is that the two of you are in an emotionally heightened state and may not be able to keep your calm during the process. Having an objective third party who can moderate the process might really help the two of you make some headway.
If one or both of you are determined to do it on your own, than you can, but it may be more difficult and even more painful.
It's important for both of you to understand that there is no excuse for infidelity, but nothing happens in a vacuum either. While you don't need to, nor should you, condone cheating it is often the sign of other problems in the relationship. Facing up to those problems and finding constructive solutions to them may be the answer to moving on after adultery.
As a matter of fact, dealing with these underlying issues may be a way to make your relationship better than it has been in a long time or maybe even better than it has ever been. You just have to get over this hurdle, and it is a big one.
Of course if the one who committed the adultery is a chronic cheater and this is a long standing pattern of behavior rather than a one time moment of weakness, the odds of ever having an adult, respectful relationship with them are slim to none.
I am not trying to be harsh, but facts are facts. If the person you are in a relationship with has shown through their actions that they are so flawed and lacking honesty or integrity that they habitually cheat on whoever they are with do not think that they are just going to turn over a new leaf and be the person you want them to be... they won't.
If you are in a relationship with this type of person you really would be wise to cut your losses and move on before they cause you anymore pain. Someone who is so fundamentally flawed can never be a worthy partner and you deserve better, everyone does.
If you decide that you simply can not forgive your partner, or they cannot forgive you, then you will have no choice but to move on. Be willing to give it time and if it was you that did the cheating, make some much needed changes.
Moving on after adultery whether you decide to try to work on your relationship or just call it quits and move on, will be a process. It is not going to happen quickly and it will not happen with out some pain, but it can happen. Just keep your dignity intact and be prepared for the battle of your life.
