Don’t Ask For A Date

You’re thinking, “If I don’t ask for a date, how am I going to get one?” It’s not that you shouldn’t ask for a date, it’s that you should consider other ways of getting a date than just walking up to her and saying, “Would you like to go out on a date with me?”

You don’t have to use that old school technique anymore. Besides, she may not think of you as a potential date right off the bat, but after hanging out with you and getting to know you, she may.

By then, you don’t have to go through the formal process of asking her out – it will be more like evolving from a nice friendship into a dating relationship. You can ask for a date without sounding like a dork, or work your way into a dating relationship naturally and casually.

First, if you’ve known her for awhile, possibly through work or church or going to the gym or whatever, then you’ve probably already had some casual conversations with her and she already thinks of you as a friend.

She might already feel very comfortable hanging out with you after work for a bite to eat, or going to see a movie that you’re both looking forward to. (“Hey, I’ve been thinking about seeing that movie too, do you want to join me?”).

This gives you an opportunity to start things out on a friendly basis. Don’t worry that she’ll always look at you as a friend. She might, but then again, after you’ve hung out a bit and she’s had a chance to enjoy getting to know you and seeing what you have in common, she may be attracted to you in more than a friendly way. So, if you’re already acquaintances or sort of friends, you can use that for a start.

If you aren’t friends yet, you can either work on establishing a friendship and build into a dating relationship from there, or you can ask her out in a way that doesn’t make you uncomfortable if you’re not sure she sees you like that.

If you know her well enough to strike up a conversation, you can work your way into talking about things you both like to do and then ask if she wants to join you for that activity.

If you’re both baseball fans, you can tell her you have a couple tickets and if she wants to come along she’s welcome to. This way, you’re telling her that you think she’d have fun joining you, and she’ll probably take the bait.

You can also try something like mentioning that you’re really looking forward to going kayaking as soon as the weather breaks. When she mentions that she’s always thought kayaking sounds fun, but she’s never done it, offer to take her and give her a beginner’s lesson.

There are lots of ways to ask someone out without getting all formal about it, which puts pressure on you and the woman. If you’re already friends, just ask her to join you for fun activities and let her learn to appreciate how much fun you are to be with.

If you don’t know her well yet, try one of the other tactics and keep things very light and casual – no pressure. It will work better, and you both will feel more comfortable. Many nice guys are afraid of starting out as friends because they’ve been given the “just friends” speech before. But all solid relationships are built on friendships, so don’t be afraid to take the first step on a “just friends” basis and watch it progress into something more.