Keys To Making Conversation

You’re on your first date and even though you’ve looked forward to this, and planned for it, you’re worried about making conversation and what to do when you run into one of those inevitable lulls.

Maybe you’re not worried at all because you consider yourself to be an expert conversationalist – a real talker. Either way, you need some pointers, just to make sure you keep the conversation going, keep it interesting and make it fun for both of you.

When you’re going on a date, the assumption is that you both feel that you have enough in common to have a good time together. And it’s not only your responsibility to keep a lively conversation going – it’s hers, too.

But for your part, take note of the following good conversation advice.

• Prepare yourself – You don’t have to be an expert on world news and the latest celebrity gossip, but you should read the news and scan the Internet for current events and at least be conversant in some areas.
• Ask her about herself, her hobbies, her family, her dogs, her college alma mater, her job, and her favorite vacation spots. Ask questions that can’t be answered with a yes or no, but require an answer that will hopefully lead to more conversation. An example would be, “You mentioned that you went to Toronto last month, what made you choose to spend time in Toronto?”
• Put your cell phone on vibrate, or turn it off completely. If you’re expecting a really important call from your boss about the latest $40 million contract you’re trying to get, take the call and BE BRIEF.
If your buddy calls you just to talk, or your mom calls to tell you that your sister is coming over for Thanksgiving and you should be there, too – those calls can wait. It’s really rude to hold a phone conversation that’s nothing less than extremely important while you’re on a date.
• Don’t monopolize the conversation. If you’re busy telling her your life’s history, she probably won’t be able to get a word in edgewise and might begin to suspect that you’re self-absorbed. You won’t get a second date that way.
• Stay away from touchy subjects such as religion, sex, politics, capital punishment, assisted suicide, etc. These topics can wait until you know each other better and you both have a better feel for each other’s sensitivities.
• Be polite. Try to keep from throwing crude references and expletives into your conversation. You’re supposed to be making a good impression.
• Use your sense of humor. If you can make her laugh, you’re going to win points because everyone loves to laugh. Just don’t do it at someone else’s expense.

Once you’ve had a couple of dates, the conversation will flow easily, but often, the first date is a process of trying to figure out what you have in common, if you can feel comfortable with each other and what both of your conversational styles are.

Just relax and remember that it’s not all up to you to keep the conversation going. Enjoy learning about this new person, and have fun telling her interesting things about yourself, too. Before you know it, the words will be flowing effortlessly.