Nice Guys Can’t Buy Love

Here’s a common problem that nice guys face: they think that because they’re the nice guy and not the bad boy (who seems to get all the girls), they have to buy their way into a girl’s heart.

That’s just not so, and you need to know that you could find yourself becoming unattractive to a woman if you’re inclined to shower her with inappropriately large or frequent gifts for no apparent reason.

All women like gifts and remembrances. Guys do, too! But there’s a not-so-thin line that you need to be certain not to cross when you’re trying to impress a woman. Splurging on your date to impress her is going to have the opposite effect that you want it to have.

You’re wondering if you can give her any gifts now, aren’t you? Of course you can. Here are some guidelines to help keep you from going overboard:

• First date – you don’t have to take any gift to her, but if you do, make it small. A single flower (from the florist, not the gas station) is great. Small special boxes of chocolates usually work well, too. Get these from a real candy store and have it wrapped with a nice ribbon. Do not give her knick-knacks, coffee mugs, Bassett hound figurines, or bottles of hard liquor – these are not appropriate “small” gifts.
• After you’ve gone out a few times and you know you like her, if you feel the need to give her a gift again, keep it small and simple like a nice bottle of wine with dinner. You might scare her off if you show up at her door for a third or fourth date with jewelry in a Tiffany box.

You shouldn’t even consider a more significant gift until you and she have made some sort of commitment to each other, such as exclusive dating. Then you can move up the gift ladder slowly.

Gifts of any monetary or symbolic significance should wait until a serious relationship has formed. Women are a bit confusing this way. They want you to show affection and attention, but they don’t want to feel smothered or like you’re marking your territory or buying ownership of them.

When you give small remembrances, it tells a woman that you’re thinking of her enough to stop by the flower shop and pick out a pretty flower especially for her. It also tells her that even though you like her, you’re easing into this whole dating relationship thing and you want her to feel comfortable and not rushed.

If you feel the need to give expensive or large gifts in order to sweep her off her feet, take a few minutes and a few deep breaths. Remind yourself that if you truly want to impress her, you’re better off doing it slowly and at a relaxed pace.